up, almost none of the links work. It's going to be that way for quite a while. Why?
Every single issue of the Ugly American was, inarguably, completely filled with words. We've got 13 issues with 1212 pages filled with intractable words squeezed into every available space, like scared savages crammed into a merchant ship coming to America from Zanzibar in the 1700s; words stacked too high and tight like cordwood in rows betraying the fear of an unending winter; stacked like giant stones in a wall in Machu Picchu, words weighing tons but somehow so easily and carefully fit so perfectly together that you can barely slip a scrap of paper between them -- stacks upon stacks of words stretching out as far as the eye can see like endless containers on a dock coming off an overloaded ship at a seaside port, containers filled with words. Jesus Christ, these cunts used so many god damned words.
We were even stingy with the punctuation, as if one or two more characters fitting on a single line would spell the difference between brilliance and irrelevance, between eureka clarity and masonic opacity; or as if worried that any air getting between the words may cause them to oxidize and tarnish and age before their time.
There's a few bursts of photos or art here and there in a few spots in a few issues but even there the words continue to rise up quickly around them an incoming tide, the inevitability of the pending flood making their attempt to resist it more pitiful than brave.
Yes, readers, if nothing else, the Ugly American had fucking words.
Almost no links work. The homepage and the covers are here, the links to issue #4 contents listing, maybe a couple of others, the My Bloody Valentine interview (the successful formula for aspiring interviewers everywhere), and I think I may have the Tad/Nirvana interview up too by the time this is up or not, and that's it. More is coming so have some patience and calm the fuck down. Nobody's getting paid (as usual), so I'm not falling all over myself to get this done between work and other projects. A nigga's gotta eat.
Phase 2 : May 1ish, 2014. Hopefully by vaguely roughly kinda around this date, ish, all the issue links will be complete with their contents listing (other than issue #1 which is in hiding somewhere), but probably little to no contents still. The homepage links will work (except 'post' probably, I don't have time to handle any email yet and honestly we probably don't want to hear from you). 'Pith' will have bunches of great stuff but won't link to the full item for a while still, so that'll be a nice teaser that's both hot and slutty. Maybe I'll put a few up.
Phase 3 : September 1st, 2014. Just to pick a totally random day. Let's just be extravagant and fanciful and claim that by this date whatever's going up will be up (most of the 1212 pages), the initial rollout will be done and searchable by a number of parameters, and let's try to claim it with a straight face.
Phase 4 : ? ~th, 20XX : After the initial archives are up we may have a section of new writing, or it may stay unchanged for eternity like a fly in amber, or something else entirely. No one has any idea. It is of no consequence.
- S.W.V. March 31 2014, 11:59pm
2015-04-30 : just minor shit, but I'm feelin' like I'm getting on this bitch again soon.
2014-06-14 : added pith page, about 300 items and 80 links so far.
2014-04-30 : added titles to all the pages, duh. corrected misc errors. fixed the stupid centering bug that ONLY god damn Internet Explorer has. I SWEAR TO GOD, HOW FUCKING HARD IS THIS? THIS PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE HAS BEEN OUT 20 YEARS AND IS MADE BY THE BIGGEST COMPANY IN THE WORLD, AND EVERY PIECE OF SHIT THEY MAKE THEY IS RIDDLED WITH ERRORS, EVEN THE SHITTIEST OPEN SOURCE BROWSER MADE BY A GROUP OF HACKY GEEKS AS A JOKE DOESN'T HAVE THE BUGS IE HAS. I hope there's a giant earthquake in Redmond WA and the entire Microsoft headquarters falls into the crevice it leaves, and EVERY SINGLE MORONIC INCOMPETENT EMPLOYEE DIES.
2014-04-28 : issue 10-13 complete contents listing added, SEARCH function added
2014-04-23 : issue 8-9 complete contents listing added, few other changes
2014-04-18 : issue 2-3 complete contents listing added, few other changes
2014-04-15 : issue 6 complete contents done, all other issue listings from 4-13 up w the masthead and Pub Statement
2014-04-12 : Tad/Nirvana interview posted
2014-04-08 : issue 5 listing available
2014-03-31 : full site first live