ISSUE #7 - 1991

Smashing Pumpkins -- Lull EP    Caroline
    The buzz from A&R vultures speaks louder than any of their music, which is a sure sign of the impending major label doom that's poised to swallow them up. They say the Smashing Pumpkins are destined for the stars, soft and ethereal rock that gets all tough and sweaty in all the right places is the thing these days cuz the living dead have an appetite that's easy to satiate. The recipe calls for dreamy guy vocals (with a hint of sexy danger), smooth riffs that have a little bite, add wah or acoustic guitar according to taste, and dash in some romantic spice so girls can swoon with sticky panties and guys can croon it to them as they bury the willy in warm turdcutter. Lull is dull and it's time to smash these Pumpkins with a bat. This says "trick or trick" so I'm giving 'em the ole apple with the razor in it. Happy Halloween, vampires.
   -Greg Chapman

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