ISSUE #4 - 1989

The Frogs -- It's Only Right And Natural   Homestead
    It's only right and natural, kids. That's right, the Bible, the Koran, Conflict, whatever the fuck you've been reading to get some sorta fag-bashing religion, they're as pumped fulla lies as a two-dollar whore. Cover to cover cockamamie bullshit that'll reprogram your sorry ass to the point where you'll feel as bad about pole-axing some unwedded nymph in the brown eye-socket as you will about coveting your neighbor's dingle-dangle. Right here you say "Hey, fucker, this here Holy Whosuhmawhatsis has been around a shit of a lot longer than you have. So plug it."Well, fuck remorse, regret. and guilt with a ten-ton dildo in the county square, I mean it ain't no fun to have an ulcer over a goddamn rimjob...
    Brothers and sisters, are you a-hearing what I'm saying? SUCK DICK. BLOW EVERY MINSTREL MOTHERFUCKER FROM HERE TO NEW ORLEANS. BRING OUT THE BOYS WITH THE LUSCIOUS PINK PORK-HOLES NEVER TOUCHED BY BAD MISTER PENIS, RIM JOB, RIM JOB, ONE TO A CUSTOMER. GET THEE TO A BATH-HOUSE. GRAB THROBBIN' ONE-EYE AND HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE. BROTHERS FUCKING BROTHERS, SISTERS FUCKING SISTERS IN A HOLY HOE-DOWN OF HEDONISM, LOOSE ANUSES BEING THE ORDER OF THE DAY. DO YOU HEAR ME, BROTHERS AND SISTERS?
    Various cries of "Hallelujah", "Right on, brother", etc. erupt from the crowd before the echoes of warm members being shoved down hungry throats and labias licked by lusty lesbians drown out all sound. Wet things mutter in the dark.
    If you think you're shocking your parents and friends by listening to Slayer or GG Allin, you've got another thing coming.
    We're here for the kids. We'll have a jammy time tonight. Lovely, just lovely.
   -Ed Sullivan


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